RANT: San Diego Comic-Con '08

Every year in late July, thousands, and now hundreds of thousands of people descend to the San Diego Convention Center in California to experience what is known as "Comic-Con", the largest comic book convention on the planet. At this point, it attracts 150,000 people, most of them nerds. I have yet to attend, but there is enough coverage to satisfy anyone interested in finding out what goes down in lovely San Diego during those few days.

One of the oft-cited highlights of Comic-Con seems to be announcements regarding some of the more nerdy movie and television shows. The event has built hype for both major movies like "Iron Man" and "The Dark Knight" (which are clearly comic-related) but also features tons of comic vendors and large booths devoted to major comic publishers (DC, Marvel, Image, Dark Horse etc.). Tons of people dress up as their favorite characters and wander around, talking and gushing about nerdy things. As a fan of these nerdy things, I think it sounds great. But after seeing so much coverage of the event, I want to comment on some aspects of the massive convention that seem ignored:

1. There are a lot of people.
Obviously, this is a good thing. It means the comic book genre has grown in popularity and focus on creative works such as comics and movies is going up, as more and more people realize that they can contribute to the vast array of mediums represented at the Convention. They have pretty much made every single major superhero into a massive-scale movie in the last 10 years. But as each strange and unique nerd holds their own special interests in their hearts, and goes to Comic-Con to show this love to maybe even the creators, it seems like just as you have a thought about something you love, there is suddenly a line of hundreds waiting in front of you for the same thing. It makes the nerd market feel jammed, which really sucks.

2. Major marketing schemes
Comic-Con is basically a massive store, that takes any money you have out of your pockets and then tells you to go to the back of the line. While sure, it is a nerd mecca, does being a nerd simply equate to "buying things"? 150,000 people come to show love, but the main purpose of the event is to promote movies with the veil of a personal connection to the audience. However, when films like "Pineapple Express" with Seth Rogen shows up, it feels like pandering for ticket sales. That is a stoner comedy and has little to do with with comics or anything Comic-Con supposedly is about. It's become more of a gathering for hype and selling shit. Perhaps the most important aspect of the convention are panel interviews with creators and developers of popular shows, but the audience does everything but perform sexual favors for these people, with little attention given to the actual quality or importance of any of these things. It's like, OK, you guys make "Lost", I like "Lost", wow listen to J.J. Abrams talk down to me!

3. The verdict is still out on most of the movies previewed this year.
It might be nice to go through some of the movies and shows previewed this year at Comic-Con.

- Punisher: War Zone (Dec. 15, 2008)
In the same way this year's "Incredible Hulk" simply pretended that the 2003 Hulk movie never happened, "Punisher: War Zone" is a new take on the Marvel superhero, disconnected from the 2004 film starring Thomas Jane. While the Punisher isn't the best superhero Marvel has, he is definitely very cinematic. The new movie looks like nerd action fare, with a dash of "Boondock Saints". Very violent (which is good for the Punisher), but honestly, not that true to the comic book in terms of look and feel other than its brutality.

- Friday the 13th (2009)
What the fuck? From the series that had already brought you eleven too many, this franchise is getting the reboot....from the same assholes who already remade "Texas Chainsaw Massacre" and "The Amityville Horror"so poorly. All 3 of those movies also have something else in common: they were produced by the scourge that is Michael Bay. The originals were worthwhile because they were...original. Is it too far into the future to make new, entertaining and iconic horror movies? Maybe.

- Red Sonja (2009)
I never saw the original, but the remake is slated to star Rose McGowan with production by the man, Robert Rodriguez. I love Robert Rodriguez's movies for their originality and memorable characters (definitely similar to Quentin Tarantino's work), but this time around it seems like a pretty uninspired concept. It's not too out there for Rodriguez to produce this... It contains a strong female lead and plenty of gore, so it might sort of end up being "Sin City" meets "Kill Bill" meets the original "Red Sonja". Could be cool.

- Terminator Salvation
The trailer for "Terminator Salvation" was a great addition to the previews before "The Dark Knight", mostly because Christian Bale is going to be starring as John Connor. He seems like an actor that doesn't put up with bullshit (going completely by his performance in "The Dark Knight"). Other than that this is just a rehash of some old shit as well. See a theme in these new movies developing? Plus, it is directed by a guy that calls himself "McG".

- Quarantine
"Cloverfield" technique with zombies.

- Ninja Assassin
Sounds fucking badass. It might turn out to suck, but at least it doesn't have any pretentious or lofty goals that it is trying to live up to. It is simply a film about a ninja assassin, produced by Joel Silver and the Wachowskis. Starring Korean pop star 'Rain'.

- RocknRolla
"RocknRolla" is a fast-paced British crime film with a large cast of shady characters from London's underworld all fighting over money, and is directed by Guy Ritchie. Expect plenty of authentic English dialog. I'm sorry, but this movie has already been made. The only differences between "RocknRolla" and "Snatch" are the inclusion of Ludacris and Jeremy Piven (which does make sense) and a lack of Jason Statham.

Of course, as discouraging as those movies are, there is one that could potentially save the next year for film...that movie is definitely "Watchmen". More on that highly anticipated better-be-good movie in a minute.